Hey everybody!
Soo the last time I posted was in June.
Dammit.
I hope y’all are doing good. I hope someone other than me still knows this blog exists.😅
Here’s hoping.
A lot has happened since I last posted.
I’m in college and I’m 18.
I’m not really sure how I got here.
I’m not going to lie, college has been pretty much a slap to the face whilst I was standing on a cliff.
For 13 years I went to the same school, saw the same faces, same halls and sometimes faced the same pity problems all the time as well. I never had to deal with “adult problems” and I hate to admit it but I was pretty much a sheltered kid all my life. In August however, I started my under graduate degree in Electronics and Communication Engineering at a Government college and let’s just say that things here work a little bit differently.
I’m that sort of stuck up person who likes to live a very scheduled and organized life and let me tell you that schedule was thrown out the window and stomped on and run over in college. I thought entrance exams and board exams and what not was hard? L O L.
My life was turned upside down.
First week of college was brutal. I was pretty much walking around like a headless chicken and being the anti-social butterfly that I am, I wasn't talking to anybody. I didn't even know how to get back home. All that kept running in my head over and over is how I wanted nothing more than to get back to the comfortable and over familiar confines of high school.
Not even a week of college had passed and I was already physically and mentally exhausted.
To be completely honest, I was crying myself to sleep pretty much.
I was all ready to throw in the towel.
I was also about to turn 18 around the same time and it hit me that this is not the way I wanted to walk into my adult years.
In situations like this I feel like the best thing you could do is focus on all the positives. That's what got me through anyways. Every positive little thing you can find.
I found happiness on hearing the change of chords on a guitar in songs, I found happiness, believe it or not, in swiping my metro card at the metro station, because I found it pretty damn cool, judge me all you want😂. I found happiness when my bread dough doubled in size after proving, I find it magical every damn time. I also found happiness just staring at a terrarium. I still can't get over what perfect and cute af plants succulents are.
Anyways the point is, I think in everybody's life there comes a point where you're just about break and you've had enough but don't ever give up because it's always going to get better, you learn something new every day, you adapt to changing environment and if you stay on the right track, everything works out for you in the end.
In terms of turning 18, initially I got kind of excited and then Liza Koshy reminded me in one of her videos that when you're brown and you turn 18, it don't mean anything😆. Which when you think about it, as a young girl in Indian society, it is sooo true. I still have a curfew and I still have to ask my parents every time I want to go out with friends but that aside I think turning 18 throws a lot of other responsibilities your way. It's even just the thought of "omg I am an adult right now" that hits me every time. I find myself doing weather checks and dressing accordingly and wearing shoes that definitely do not go with my outfit but I wear them anyway just because its more comfy and better to walk in. I even find myself buying after wash for my clothes because I've started to do more laundry, VOLUNTARILY😂 I hate to admit, but I'm enjoying it for the most part, even doing the laundry.
Anyways all this doesn't particularly mean that I'm completely fine right now. I still struggle with something or the other everyday, but I think I can get through this hard part.
I know it sounds cliche' but if I can, you definitely can.

Hope you liked this new post. Tell me what you think!
Also, would you guys like to see a recipe as a post?  I've been baking a lot recently and I'm in too deep, so let me know!
Thank you for reading this post.
Until next time,
Auf Wiedersehen x

Without Wax,

That Indian Blogger

Hi there. Remember me?
Long time no see, but then again, what's new.
There have been so many instances where I could've opened up my laptop and posted something on here over the past three months but I just couldn't. I didn't really want to either because I cannot tell you what sort of a dark place I was in during the past two months. I have slowly come out of it, I think. I just saw a documentary called Slingshot based on the guy who invented the Segway, Dean Kamen and how he's practically changing the world every single day and there I was, just sat on my living room floor where I had been for the past 520 minutes, or rather 13 episodes of The Vampire Diaries (which is a GREAT show btw. I have been binge watching it for the past couple of days and I'm already almost done with season 3 which is approximately 2360 minutes of my life wasted. I like to tell myself that staring at the gorgeous Ian Somerhalder is worth it, but who am I kidding) doing absoultely nothing, just wasting my time, precious time that I could never get back so I decided to get off my bum and do what I think I am best at and what I love, writing.
So four months ago, things started getting very real and very scary because the board exams were right around the corner and I realised that I CANNOT afford to mess this up. I had not been the most academically brilliant student the past two years and as the exams kept getting nearer I kept questioning if I could actually do well. I would see my friends working so hard, harder than ever before and I kept questioning if I had done enough. Something I've learnt since then is to NEVER question yourself. If you believe that you have worked your hardest, then you have. Don't let anyone make you question that.
My mum had to basically hit this fact into my head constantly and honestly, I don't think I could've done it without her reminding me to believe that I could do it. Trust me, believing that you can is everything, the moment you lose your belief, you've lost practically lost the battle and lost everything.
Anyways, that girl with a massive inferiority complex who kept questioning her capabilities every other day turned out to get a 91% in her board exams and you know what, she's proud. It may not be as good as how much my friends got or how much the topper got but I am proud, and I made my parents proud and my family proud and nobody can take that from me.
I cannot tell you how worked up I was, awaiting the results. There were sleepless nights, there were numerous panic attacks and breakdowns and now it all seems like all that time spent crying was completely unnecessary and an utter waste of time because here I am, happy, and if I got through it, so can you.
Something else I had to tackle were entrance exams, and those really took a toll on me because all of a sudden, from the confines and comfort of a school with about 100 something students in your grade, you're thrown out into the big bad world, competing with lakhs of students on a national scale. That hit me in ways I never thought it could. I would cry every single day, I was so close to giving up on multiple occasions, I basically thought I was useless and a waste of space and I'm here to tell you that rule number one is to definitely not do what I did.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. The world is your oyster and if you are crazy enough to think that you can bring about world peace or cure cancer or build a time machine THEN SO BE IT. Because if there's anything that documentary or Steve Jobs taught me, it's that the crazy ones, the ones who think that they can change the world, are the ones who usually do.
I'm working on this. I have big dreams and passions and hopefully one day I'll be writing a blog post telling you that I made it because I believed I could.
No dream is too big or too small.
You believe you could get into an Ivy League school? You will get into an Ivy League school.
You believe you can own a Ferrari in the future? You will own a Ferrari in the future.
It's as simple as that.
Sooo, that's it for today, gotta get back to my Vampire Diaries marathon 😂😜
I hope this post made even one of you think twice about yourself and believe in yourself.
That one person could go on to be the first person on Mars or to invent a device to teleport, who knows.
Tell me what you think in the comments!
Until next time,
Auf Wiedersehen

Without Wax,
That Indian Blogger x