Hihihihi guys!

Here's me hiding from 2019

Hope y'all are being the best you and doing well!
Oh, HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We're six days into 2019.
Yes. Six days. I'm late for the new year you say?
Well. January was hard. And I mean hard.
You know how people say with the new year you're starting off with blank pages and all that? Well, I'm the sort of person who is ready with her best stationery on the first of January, every year.
That purple highlighter, that pastel pink post-it, that pen-pencil that's so convenient since a normal pencil is too much work, all ready and armed to take on these blank pages that people speak of, ready to make each page neat and aesthetic and colourful and better than the last. I feel like we all try our best to do this in some way or the other, in January at least. Some of us start that diet we have always wanted to go on and some us of try to be more productive and not make the mistakes we made the previous year. Regardless of whether all this lasts, we still try.
But what happens if your post-its don't stick well or your purple highlighter runs out of ink or that trusty pen-pencil gets stuck and you don't know how to fix it? Suddenly the blank pages aren't being filled the way you wanted it to. Well, a series of these pages happened and I just wanted to rip out these pages out and start over. I finally gave up after a point and decided to leave the pages blank and start off afresh in February. So that's why I've convinced myself that we're only six days into the new year.
But here I am, at 2am trying to convince myself that January didn't happen and February is ok so far. *touch wood*
But because it is 2am and I'm trying to convince myself of this, I realise I cannot and actually shouldn't forget that January did happen and things did go terribly wrong but more importantly that that's ok.
A few exams not going so well, almost breaking my leg, my anxiety making a big comeback and finding out out some terrible news are a few things that my January was made up of.
We live in a society where we're branded by the how much marks we get, it sucks but it's always something for those aunties and uncles to judge you and make them feel better or worse about their own kids. Nevertheless, we are always on a quest to make those aunties and uncles feel bad about their kids, fueling an insatiable desire to prove people wrong. The moment I knew my marks weren't going to make me or my parents particularly proud, it devastated me, more than it should've. When you let that happen, you end up putting yourself down and undermining yourself when you're actually better than a lot of people out in the world. So if there's anything I've learned at 2am, six days into my new year, it's that whatever happens is ok, I'm just going to go out there and give everything my best shot. Things aren't going to go as planned and that's ok. Giving it your best shot is important.
Then we have the anxiety coming back. I've been getting very anxious lately and a small trigger is all that's needed to break me. It's been making me lose my temper a lot too. Not particularly proud of it, but I threw my phone the other day when I got super frustrated. The phone is ok but I'm not. Taking it out on everyone or everything else is probably the worst thing you could do. It gets harsh but I'm working on it. I'm distracting myself with book clubs and k-dramas. It's hard but to people who might be going through this too, WE GOT THISSS.
Finally receiving the terrible news, its not something I want to elaborate on but let's just say it was pretty much my worst fear come to life. I wish there was a 'How to Life for Dummies' book that I could delve into because no one teaches you how to deal with things like this.  If there's anything I can tell you from learning about this the hard way is that, you have to spend time with the ones you love. Tell your loved ones you love them every single chance you get. Throw kindness around like confetti, I cannot stress enough on that. Go write a letter to someone you love right now. Or give your loved one a hug. DO IT.
Spread the love, the world needs it.
And on that note, I think I should wrap up this blogpost.
If you want your new year to start in March, start it in March. Hell, start it in August, make your own rules but don't forget what the bad months taught you. You got this, kick life's butt.
I really hope you have an amaaaazing year. Own it and kill it.
And do it all Without Wax.
Auf Wiedersehen.

Without Wax,

That Indian Blogger

Hey guys!
It's October. How are we in October already?!
I also turned 19 recently, final year as a teen, what even.
Turning 19 doesn't feel any different though. I feel like there needs to be something almost ceremonious to mark this final teenage year, but there's nothing. If anything it has told me I need to pull myself together. I'm probably the most childish person I know (I may or may not have a dozen Disney songs on my playlist at the moment), and somethings telling me I need to maybe grow up a tiny bit.
So I've wanted to write this post for a while now. I thought about the title for quite a bit. "How to put it in a way that no one judges me." I then decided that life is way too short to worry about things like this😂 and therefore decided to put it as exactly what it is.
Social media ruined my life.
In today's world, I feel it's fair to say that almost everyone you bump into is on social media. The impact one can bring about via a following on social media is actually insane.
Apart from having the ability to pretty much sway the world, Social Media has made the world such a small place. You get to see what everyone is up to each day no matter where in the world they are. What we don't get sometimes is that Social Media is such a filtered version of someone's life. It may be all rainbows and unicorns on someone's page but we can never really tell if it's all rainbows and unicorns in their life.
What I find myself doing on Social Media is comparing myself to people I see on there, a lot. You may not relate, in which case I applaud you and I want to be like you, but I'm the sort of person with a super low self-esteem. Social Media also happens to have such negative vibes. A lot of people on there are hiding behind a phone or a laptop and hence get all the courage they wouldn't normally have, to spew hate on there. You may go through loads of good comments about you, but the one negative comment you find will haunt you longer is what I've found.
All sort of Social Media numbers bothered me a lot too. Likes, follows, followers, comments, I just wanted to run away from it all.
Recently something happened to my account and it bothered me so much, way more than it should have. The thought of potentially losing the account with the following and base that I had scared me and it shouldn't have. "How will I promote my blog", "How will I build up what I had from scratch", were just a few things that kept going on in my head. The same day I came across the following tweet

I realised I do not want to be that person. Social Media is not who I am, it hit me that even if I lose the account, I don't lose myself and there should be nothing more important to me than myself. If there's anything my low-key obsession with BTS (anti-K-POP and anti-BTS peeps stay with me on this xD) has thought me is that I come first. You can't even fall in love with anyone else without learning to love yourself first. Once you accept yourself for who you are, everything else falls into place, you get this adrenaline rush and feeling of "I can change the world and no one can stop me" and you know what? You can. Once you believe you can, you're already halfway there.
Don't let Social Media get to you the way it got to me. I won't deny all the good things that come out of Social Media, I've met some of the best people online, just remember to love yourself, keep your chin up, and throw kindness around like confetti.

So that was today's post! Hope you liked it! Let me know what you think!
And don't forget to Love yourself.

Without Wax,

That Indian Blogger

Hey guys!
I'm back with a new post at a record time, I'm not quite sure how that happened either.
Before I start off with the post I'd like to mention something that happened that left me SHOOK. Someone recognized me as That Indian Blogger in a mall the other day. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! Never in a million years did I see myself in that situation. So a massive shout out to the girl who came up to me.
So this is a post I've wanted to put up for a while but never really got around to it.

In March of this year, I visited Taiwan with my dad.
I don't want to bore you with a lot of details, so I'll try to keep it short and fill the rest of the post with pictures from the trip.
I was amazed by the country from the very beginning. As I stepped out of the plane, the first thing I saw was a massive board that said 'Taiwan' but it was completely made out of circuit boards. From the airport, we drove down to our first stop, Hsinchu, a small city in northern Taiwan. It wasn't a daunting city like the capital, Taipei. The way the city was built and maintained made me wish I lived there. We spent two days there but on the second day, we took the Taiwan High Speed Rail to two cities, Taichung, which is fairly in the middle and Kaohsiung, a city in the south. I didn't really get to explore those two cities but the train journey is something I'll never forget. It made me wish I had more time on my hands to explore the Taiwan countryside. In Taichung, I had the most memorable lunch, trying out all the local delicacies like fried oyster, goose, stinky tofu and even something called iron egg which is a boiled egg that has been braised in soy sauce for a long time because of which it is hard on the outside but soo tasty. If you find yourself in Taiwan do not be afraid to try out all the food they have to offer, you'll find yourself loving dishes you never thought you would, and it'll definitely leave you satisfied. On the last three days of my trip, I was in Taipei. Like I mentioned before, this city was quite daunting. The massive skyscrapers and just the scale of everything made me feel tiny and intimidated but I definitely would love to just get lost in it for days. I didn't get to explore as much as I'd like to but I did do quite a bit of sightseeing here like at the Taipei 101, the National Palace Museum, which I highly recommend you visit and the Raohe Street Night Market which is also a must visit.
The people there were incredibly sweet and always willing to help. Someone who didn't speak a lot of English but knew my dad for a while took us out to dinner with his family and as a stranger in foreign place, where I couldn't understand a lot of things or even a word they were saying, I felt right at home, so much love and didn't feel out of place.
Taiwan may be a small country but it had so much to offer.  I went at a time when my anxiety was really bad and this trip healed me in ways I didn't imagine it would or could. So if you get an opportunity to explore this amazing country, please do.
谢谢台湾

Without Wax,

That Indian Blogger

Hey guys!
We're halfway through 2018 already. How?! My last post was welcoming the new year.😂
Hope you guys are having a good year so far! If you aren't, do not worry, you have another six months left, own it, I know you can.
So today's post is hard for me to write about.
Speaking about it out loud is hard enough. I can never find the right words.
So something I do is that I overthink and worry about different things way too much. Nobody overthinks things more than I do, trust me. Lately, it's gotten worse and I wanted to do something to put an end to it.
I over-analyze and unnecessarily dissect situations. I just can't stop myself.
It goes from the tiniest of things like if someone doesn't reply to a message I will almost always think I've said the wrong thing.
I then sometimes question my abilities to do things, millions of people will be able to do it but I end up questioning my abilities. Why?!
Coming out of an exam, I know I would've done the best I can but head always goes to the question WHAT IF.

It always boils down to this question.
'What if?'
My head always goes to the worst case scenario.
It's a downward spiral from there. A spiral I can't get out of. In some cases, I'm gripped with fear. I've actually found myself literally shaking with fear. Turns out, that's not just an expression.
My heart is racing a million miles an hour, I'm shaking with fear, this massive adrenaline rush comes out of nowhere and I literally don't know what to do. This has happened multiple times this past year.
I hate being in the unknown, I like to have every single thing planned and when I'm in a situation like that, everything is thrown out the door and I'm literally stuck.
It is both, a boon and a bane. Lately, it's been a major bane though. It's gotten to the point where I just can't go on like this  anymore, I need to make some changes.
Anxiety is defined in many ways but according to the dictionary it's an uncomfortable feeling of nervousness or worry about something that is happening or might happen in the future or it's just something that causes you to worry, but an excess of this like what I've been experiencing this past couple of months is not good for you. 
Something that I've noticed while reading up on ways to get better is that in India we do not acknowledge mental health as much as we should. People don't think anxiety and anxiety disorders are real and that's what made me want to write about it. It looks like people going through things like this are afraid to speak up or just don't want to be looked at differently. I get it, like I know I might have people looking at me weirdly after this, but I strongly recommended people to talk about all this more. 
I always feel like nothing is scarier than having all these feeling build up inside of you and feel like you're alone in your struggle because the truth is you're not. There are so many people going through exactly what you may be going through and nothing is more comforting than letting it all out. That is your first step in the right direction. I believe that if we take the right steps then we can beat it and take control of our lives. Anxiety does have the ability to control your life but I know that it's something that can be defeated with the right steps. 
A few things that I've learned that help me is to first take a step back from the situation or thing that worries you, take a deep breath and just forget about it. Ask yourself, what's the worst that can happen, my mom always asks me to do this. In the end, when you think about it, you will always find solutions to overcome even those worst-case scenarios, there is nothing that can stop you. I've also found that finding a distraction helps so much, for me it's been endless Korean dramas and variety shows😂. Listening to music and just going out for long walks is a massive help. I've read that meditation and yoga help loads too, I haven't tried that out yet but it's definitely something that I want to get into. The biggest help though at the end of the day is to talk about it with friends and family because it's always so good to get another set of eyes on your situation and tell you that everything is going to be ok. If you feel like you don't have that kind of person in your life, feel free to hit me up in the DMs anytime. I want to stress the fact that you're not alone so much. 
YOU NEVER WALK ALONE. 
We got this. You're given this life only because you're strong enough to handle it so never feel like you can't, and I know it's cliche but never give up.
To the people who don't relate to this post, please be understanding of the people going through things like this, it's not a joke, Anxiety is real, and if you spend some time with someone you know going through this and just truly listen to them, it's all that's needed to get them feeling a whole lot better. If you laugh about it or don't take them seriously, it will only give them more reasons to worry about other than the situation they're already in and just make them feel worse. So spread kindness around like confetti ALWAYS.
Again, I know it's a different post but I hope it helped someone out there.
Honestly feel free to hit me up if you're feeling lost or scared, anxious or maybe you don't have anxiety but you just want someone to talk to, I got your back.
Hope you guys liked this week's post! It's something so different and scary so let me know what you think! 
Hope you have an amazing day. 
Auf Wiedersehen.

Without Wax,

That Indian Blogger